Little Lion Man

I’m officially going yo be off the antidepressant celexa. I’m taking a 5 mlg tablet every other day for two Wes then cutting completely out of my regiment; leaving only gamipenton and trazadone as my final drugs in cycle. Gamipenton to reduce tremors and trazadone to insure sleep Prevent percephoration . I feel horrid- my teeth feel weAk abs sensitive from all the Ned- I feel constantly lethargic even as the cycles reduce and tremendously hollow. I don’t know where to start I and deeply saddened to know I’m willing to share these detail but I gotta channel it someway right?? I hate this all so much and the worst part is there is no silver lining to thus chapter; nor any to soon follow

AD

I haven’t blogged aside from a few pics and quick tidbits in quite some time and this is intensional mostly

Anybody should be aware to to step out off by sort of spotlight and that is just what I have done

I really can’t call my metaphoric following a spot light because that would infer that I was Pseudo-celebrity status (on a very-veerrrrrry small scale). Well in hindsight I’ve decided to step back into the blogging world: this time not do much to inform friends/family/acquaints of mu current happenings and medical updates. I am deciding to blog this time for personal therapeutic reasons in hope that I, my ethos or the vast array of opinion that is the Internet can help me take my second form of recovery to a accomplished level of positive results

So what’s been up?

I’ve had multiple surgeries, I am back at physics therapy and am almost done with my first semester back at the end of my college career

Sooooo. To begin

Surgeries: after undergoing cyber knife surgery a hernia procedure and a correction of stripnovis(eye muscles) movement surgery; All have gone well but the initial hernia surgery has left s large cavity of loose stomach wall so the tissue protrudes. There is no direct danger but it looks like another hernia has formed even though it hasn’t.

When my eye was worked on it had reverted directly to the center of my eye cavity. As time has gone on the eye has pulled inwards: not as much as originally but noticeable none the less. A second repositioning is needed.

This decision of course has been postponed for a very inconvenient clerical error. The glasses specialist put the wrong lens in my left eye so my eyes have not made the adjustment that were needed in order to make the right corrections. ISP without going into derails the corrections have been appropriated abs now we are on the right path to getting this fixed. So once time has passed with the new adjustment hopefully the right decisions can be made as to whether a second surgery is needed or not

My stomach has finally healed from the hernia repair. This was definitely the mist painful surgery I’ve had thus far. Although left with a mean keloid scar and a weak stomach muscle structure- the surgery Is over abs done with and the dr was able to move the chord for my shunt so that future surgery was unnecessary.

The cyber knife was conduct about a week under a year ago and unfortunately we won’t see any results of it for at least another year.

I still suffer from fatigue is sides abs balance deficiencies that stem from what we hope is a weak gravitational core; but as time goes on it is slowly proving more conclusively that my lack of balance and loss of spacial awareness is a result of permanent neurological damage and indeed not resulted from muscular or cardiovascular depletions.

So what does this all mean??

Well. It looks like for starters I’m off to a good start culminating my academic treks and hopefully putting a pub in my graduation if secondary education once and for all.

As far as mobility and physical independence: it looks like I have a very long long long long road areas of me Due to my lack of spacial awareness And balance ill be lucky if I can ever again hold steady employment t. One of the main goals finishing my college degree is at least hoping that I can one day find lucrative and challenging work on the gone front until I am (if ever) able to find lucrative hc accessible work in my general bachelors in the future.

So for the next few years at very least I better learn to ambulated productively and proficiently in these two fashions of what I consider “settling for less”.

At least cube collegiate finish line is in site and we can be very thankful for that at least.

Things with Milissa are fantastic. We gave our ups and downs but fast are bit adolescent trivial banters they always pertain to fair abs adequate differences that are resolved diplomatically and with few to no back lashings of aggression or pettiness she understand me. Abs by doing that she understand as much as she can about my injury. It has to be very hard at times. Because the natures and reflexes that the healing process as well as the initial injury are ever changing

Still love her through and through

She accepts all the food and the bad that exists in me now and the ones that existed before her involvement as well as what the future could become as far as I know She accepts me. Liam. My mom. My dad. Tico. Chavi. All my family. And my never ending quest for a traveling circus act full of boogy acrobats

I’m unfortunately serious

Liam:

I don’t know what’s next on the agenda all I can say is this-

I haven’t seen or talked to my boy in almost 8 months and words cannot describe how much that fact Amongst many others circumventing the inability to see iota be with my boy; cuts through me. I am lucky to have many supportive family members and friends who have shown me nothing but love. Yet they will never compare to the love my don had taught me.

I miss abs love him more with every breathe I take

Ill post more after I re-consult with the eye dr and follow up with my local neurologist to see where I am in terms of recovery

I miss and love you more than I could ever say; type or express. I pray and wish only great things for you Liam. No matter where you are buh buh. Daddy still loves you more than he ever thought he could love anything or anyone

I’m so thankful to my family and friends and girlfriend who have shown me nothing but never-ending love and support through what Seems like an on going struggle

Breathe

Blink

Step

Repeat

Love

Autumn Diver